seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
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I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
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the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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