It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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