i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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