And the cops told us we were all naked.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
