I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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