He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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