Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
