do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.