1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just want nice things and good sex
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.