Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
