i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
