yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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