You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
