I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
