Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize