Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize