Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize