I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
