I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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