You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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