I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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