I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
