If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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