You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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