too bad you live with your parents still
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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