I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize