I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
