we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
