yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
