I could make wine with my vomit
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
