Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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