He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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