3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
