Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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