We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
