ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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