Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
