Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
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Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize