Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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