He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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