shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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