we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
you're hired as official boob wrangler
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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