I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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