Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
