Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I intend to get homeless drunk
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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