I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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