If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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