You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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