Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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