Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
