He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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