Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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