I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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