We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So. Much. Porn.
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