he wants to bone in the snuggie
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
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This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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