We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
