Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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