to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
