Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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