I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
