I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
