....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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