moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
