there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
