he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
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Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
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We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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