Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
